Rebuilding Trust In Yourself After A Toxic Relationship

Toxic relationships can leave deep emotional scars, eroding not only our trust in others but also our trust in ourselves. Rebuilding trust in oneself after experiencing a toxic relationship is a vital step towards healing and personal growth.

In this article, we will explore the process of regaining self-trust after a toxic relationship and offer strategies to help individuals embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing.

Understanding toxic relationships and their impact

Toxic relationships are characterised by patterns of manipulation, control, emotional abuse, and disregard for one's well-being. They often demonstrate a lack of mutual respect, and a disregard for personal boundaries. These dynamics can lead to a significant erosion of self-esteem and self-confidence, making you feel misunderstood, unsupported and demeaned. Toxic relationships are not necessarily confined to romantic relationships – they can exist in friendships, at the workplace, and even in families. Victims of toxic relationships often find themselves doubting their own judgement, feeling responsible for the toxicity, and struggling to establish healthy boundaries (Scott, 2022).

The importance of rebuilding self-trust

Rebuilding trust in oneself is a crucial step towards moving forward and breaking free from the cycle of toxic relationships. Self-trust forms the foundation of healthy relationships, both with oneself and with others. Without self-trust, individuals may find it challenging to make sound decisions, set boundaries, and engage in self-care. Psychotherapy in Singapore can help to provide valuable guidance and strategies for rebuilding self-trust within the context of a supportive and professional relationship.

Rebuilding self-trust

● Seeking support

Seeking support from friends, family, or adult counselling in Singapore can be immensely beneficial. Trusted individuals can provide a safe space for expressing feelings and gaining perspective on the situation, and professional counselling can help you to navigate the complexities of rebuilding self-trust after a toxic relationship.

● Acknowledging and accepting

The first step towards rebuilding self-trust is acknowledging the toxicity of the past relationship and accepting that it was not a reflection of your worth. This involves recognising the impact of the toxic dynamics on self-esteem and emotional well-being.

● Self-compassion

Practising self-compassion is essential. Self-compassion involves the act of extending kindness, empathy, and understanding to oneself, particularly in moments of adversity or distress. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend going through a similar experience (Neff, 2003). Self-compassion enables individuals to embrace their vulnerabilities and imperfections without judgement. For example, if you make a mistake, try to remind yourself that making mistakes is normal and one mistake does not define you as a person.

● Reframing negative beliefs

Toxic relationships often lead to negative self-beliefs, such as “I’m unlovable” or “I’m a burden”. Identifying and reframing these beliefs is crucial for rebuilding self-trust. Cognitive-behavioural techniques can aid in challenging and changing such detrimental thought patterns.

● Setting reasonable goals

Boosting self-trust involves setting and accomplishing personal goals. While aspiring to ambitious long-term objectives is important, it is wise to complement them with smaller, achievable goals to prevent frustration (Johnson, 2022). Following the SMART goals criteria—specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely— can help to foster a strong sense of confidence in your own abilities. For instance, pursuing a more realistic exercise goal, such as strength training twice a week for 30 minutes each, helps to build your confidence gradually. Over time, achieving successive goals enhances self-trust.

● Engaging in self-care

Engaging in activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being can aid in rebuilding self-trust. Prioritise self-care routines that nurture and rejuvenate your sense of self, such as meditation, hiking, or engaging in hobbies you may have neglected while in a toxic relationship. Mindfulness practices can also improve your mental health and help you regain self-trust.

● Journaling and self-reflection

Journaling is a personal writing practice that involves regularly recording your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and observations in a dedicated journal or notebook. Journaling allows individuals to explore their thoughts and feelings, aiding in self-reflection and self-discovery. Documenting progress and insights can be a powerful tool in rebuilding self-trust.

Conclusion

Rebuilding trust in oneself after a toxic relationship is a challenging yet transformative journey. It requires a combination of self-compassion, support from others, and intentional efforts to reshape negative beliefs and behaviours. By recognising the influence of a toxic relationship and taking measures to restore trust in yourself, individuals can gradually rebuild their self-assurance and embark on a path of healing and personal growth.

References

Scott, E. (2022). What Is a Toxic Relationship? https://www.verywellmind.com/toxic-relationships-4174665

Neff KD. (2022). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention. https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/PsychReviewInPress.pdf

Johnson, J. (2022). 5 Ways to Trust Yourself More https://psychcentral.com/relationships/how-to-develop-self-trust